Our family keeps on keeping on

Some days are good,

Some days are bad,

Some days are neither,

Only so-so.

Some days we're sad,

Some days we're glad,

Ups,

                 downs,

It's like a family yo-yo.

Words from Big Book of Families by Catherine and Laurence Anholt.

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We're a family of four now. And we're doing okay.

Some days are great. Some days are not so great.

Some days fly. Some days I watch the clock all day.

One day I burst into tears when my husband called at 6.00pm to say he wouldn't be home for another hour. Not tears directed at him. Just tears.

But we're doing okay.

We're getting there. We're getting into the groove. It's probably not the one Madonna was singing about, but it's a groove nonetheless.

A groove punctuated with beautiful moments.

They don't outnumber the bad moments. They don't last longer than the bad moments. But they still win.

They still win.

Have you welcomed a new member into your family? Did you find it difficult to find a new groove?

Don't count the hours of sleep you're missing out on

Just don't.

Yesterday, I mentioned I wasn't getting much any sleep.

And this leads me to my next lesson.

When you have a newborn at home, and you're not getting enough sleep, just roll with it. Don't count the hours of sleep you're missing out on.

Why not?

Because you'll never catch up. Not ever.

Never.

It's not like having a big night out. Or a big night in (rit rrraow).

There's no stockpiling the sleep in advance. No catching up on the sleep later.

The hours of sleep you've missed? They're gone. Just gone.

They're not coming back.

Don't add up the hours you've missed out on. You'll be sad when you hit double figures. Despondent when you hit triple figures (and the bags under your eyes seem to triple as well).

Forget the numbers. All you can do is celebrate the nights you do manage to sneak enough sleep hours to feel vaguely human the next day.

Just make sure you save those celebrations for the next day. Don't dance a little happy dance when you manage to settle your bub earlier than you'd expected. Don't waste ANY of those precious sleep minutes on premature celebrations.

Sleep. Grab it with both hands eyelids.


Do you get enough sleep? Do you find yourself trying to 'make up the minutes' after a sleepless night, or do you just move on?

You lose track of time when you have a newborn

When you first come home with a baby, you're up all the time. Life becomes a blur of feeds, burping, settling, re-settling, giving up on settling, cuddling, entertaining the toddler, explaining a lot of things to the toddler, cooking, resting, attempting to think, and even occasionally managing to talk with your beloved.

Notice that I didn't mention sleep. No, not sleep. Not much of that to be had at all.

I've been using twitter and facebook to stay a) sane and b) awake during the late night feeds. Which resulted in this conversation with Cameron over breakfast on 9 April:

Cameron: (looking at iPhone) Whoa! Margaret Thatcher died!
Me: Uh, yeah, ages ago.
Cameron: What?
Me: Old news, hon. She died last week.
Cameron: No, she died last night.
Me: No, I'm sure I heard about it last week. I've been reading about it for ages...
Cameron: Em. It happened last night.
Me: But... um... hang on. One, two, three... (counting previous night's feeds on my fingers) Oh. Oh man. That was just one night? It felt like a week! I'm so tired! I CAN'T DO THIS!
Cameron: What?
Me: Nothing. So she died last night, huh? That's sad.

I am a zombie. Don't ask me what time it is. Don't even ask me what day it is.

I think I'm up with what month it is, though. Feel free to ask that. Bring on May. Bring on the second month of Mitchell's life. Bring on longer sleeps. At night.

Right?


Have you ever lost track of the time like this? What caused it?

Your heart always has room for more love

There is room in your heart for the love for another baby.

Or maybe your heart grows.

Or maybe the love overlaps.

Or maybe your heart knows from the time it is created just how much love you'll have to give in your life, and is exactly the size it needs to be to let that happen.

Or maybe love doesn't take up space in your heart. Maybe it just is.

Or all of the above.

Or none of the above. Perhaps love is something that should stay restricted to the experience of being human instead of being belittled by attempts to describe the experience and emotion with words.

I don't know.

I don't care.

I'm in love.

Don't vomit yet. Just go with me here.

I never thought I'd love anyone as much as I love Cameron. He's my equal, my partner, my balance, my counterweight. My voice of reason. For want of a more fitting term, he is my soul mate.

Then came Ashleigh. She is my sunshine. My light. My burden. Sound incongruous? Not at all. She's a beautiful burden. A gift of more love than I know what to do with at times, tied to more responsibility than I've ever experienced in any other aspect of my life.

Then came Mitchell. More sunshine. More light. More burden. More love tied to more responsibility.

It's all more than I ever thought I'd be able to handle.

But I can handle it. In fact, I need it. It buoys me when I see a smile, a shared secret, a shared joke. A laugh, a moment of learning, a moment of joy.

It's what I cling to as I travel back through this newborn world of sleeplessness, constant feeds, soothing and rocking. As I view the world through a sleep-deprived haze of exhaustion and short-temperedness.

As I learn about this new world of lashings out, of attention-seeking, of tantrums. Of balancing needs. Of being torn in two different directions.

Love. It's beautiful. It's difficult. It's demanding.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm a very lucky woman.


Are you ever surprised by how much love you have to give?

There's a new man in my life

Yes, you read that correctly. A new man.

And my husband doesn't even mind!

Meet Mitchell.

Mitchell entered the world in early April, and is already bringing so much joy to his mother, father, and super-smitten older sister.

We feel so lucky and blessed to have this little guy in our lives.

And I've learnt (and re-learnt) so much. Some things may be easier second-time around, but the presence of an older child makes for different approaches and experiences. New lessons. Repeated lessons.

And even a re-think of some lessons of old.

All of which will soon eventually be shared.

Thank you for your patience and continued support during my bubby bloggy break. Thank you for the lovely messages, the kind wishes and the congratulations.

And a special thank you to all guest post contributors, and to everyone who read and commented on the posts. I've enjoyed reading the comments and reactions, and sharing different voices in this space usually reserved for mine.

I'd like to say it's back to regular scheduled programming from here on in, but our family is still adjusting to the introduction of a new member. We haven't yet found our groove. Until we do, I'll be here when I can.

And learning and loving every minute in the meantime.

Do you have two or more children? What did you learn as each new child entered the world?

Linking up with My Little Drummer Boys for Wordless Wednesday.